“What do you crave? And what would you give for power?”
Our story begins with these two questions from a nameless entity in front of a river of blood. A deal is made. A girl is dragged into the red depths.
Enticed? So was I.
I Feed Her to the Beast and the Beast is Me is a captivating debut by Jamison Shea. The cover alone was enough to pull me in when I saw it going around on social media. As I would discover while reading, the cover reveals more the longer you stare: the blood, the vibrant violet, a character’s head floating just above the blood, and, behind her, a skull watches over. I was already sold—and then I started reading.
Laure Mensey is a prima ballerina in the making, daily pushing herself beyond the limits of what should be physically possible in the demanding and cutthroat Parisian ballet. But the world of ballet wasn’t built for anyone different. It doesn’t matter that Laure has the highest grades, works harder than her peers, and is technically perfect. In this world, a Black girl can never do enough to earn her place center stage. As she watches the dancers around her find their success thanks to their money, their connections and more, Laure finds herself deep in the Catacombs with others as disenfranchised and ignored by dance. The nameless entity that resides there asks Laure two questions, and with that, she has the power to take her deserved place in the spotlight.
As someone who doesn’t “look” the way they are “supposed to” for their chosen art, I empathize with Laure’s choice to give her entire self to an eldritch horror for the chance to be on equal ground with my peers. With every choice Laure makes, my own heart swelled with dark satisfaction: I support Laure’s rights, and I support every one of her wrongs.
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I Feed Her to the Beast and the Beast Is Me
Shea starts with the underbelly of the arts and the sacrifices you have to make that made books like Tiny Pretty Things so compelling and takes it to the extreme. They use Laure’s story to examine the innate horror that comes with dedicating yourself to an art form that never intended to include you. They ask the question, what else is left to do when even a pact with an immortal monster isn’t enough for them? Do you give in, or do you tear it all down?
The world built around this story is as intricate as the ballet itself: The aesthetic is immaculate and the key players know their parts by heart. Laure’s classmates may seem like the stereotypical privileged students in a cutthroat arts program, and you’re right. They are. They’re exactly who they’re supposed to be. If you’ve lived in a world like this, you’ll recognize their sharp gazes and pretty words meant to cut like a hidden blade.
As Laure and her longest friend, Coralie, delve deeper into their chance at careers, we get to meet others. These characters feel like the lights in the dark that they are: Joséphine the new étoile, Ciro the mysterious new board member, a monster of a boy named Andor, and more bring Laure into their circle. They create a separation of Laure from the ballet, and from Coralie, that becomes both a comfort and danger for our main character. Laure learns from these new friends: about the world outside of dance, about the monster she’s given herself to, and, most importantly, that asking the river for power comes with a price. Death and destruction begin to follow Laure in her ascent to power, and something is wrong with her best friend.
I can’t leave this review without pointing out how well Jamison Shea writes dance, ballet especially. Shea has found that perfect center in writing something so technical and beautiful. Their ability to write using ballet vocabulary that’s familiar to anyone trained in dance while painting the movements with action and feeling keeps those who don’t know the French terms compelled. No matter your familiarity with the art form Laure is fighting for, you’ll be drawn in. Shea has executed a perfect series of pirouettes—effortless to the eye, but technically difficult to achieve.
If you love horror thrillers that are dark, dangerous, and daring, I Feed Her to the Beast and the Beast is Me is the book for you. Follow Laure through the catacombs of the ballet world. Join her as she fights for herself and side steps slaughter where she can. Stand en pointe and gaze into the bloody river on the cover. When you do, don’t forget to ask yourself, just like Laure:
“What do you crave? And what would you give for power?”
I Feed Her to the Beast and the Beast Is Me is published by Henry Holt and Co.
Cassie Schulz (she/they) is an indie bookseller and event coordinator with Brazos Bookstore, as well as a primary school teacher, performer, and general queer distaster. You can find them on Twitter and IG @pineappleramble where they tweet about books, musicals, cats, and upcoming writings.
